I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
