i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish you could order shots online.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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