I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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