her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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