I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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