That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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