if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
