Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
