yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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