He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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