I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
