hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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