i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I will pee on everything he values.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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