Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
please don't ironically join a cult
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