i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
