can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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