# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
