I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize