Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
