as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
