She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
