Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
