Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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