didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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