i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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