Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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