the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
