I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
