oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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