after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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