About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
