I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
