Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
