if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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