Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
