i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Michael Bay diarrhea
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
