I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
