And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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