two words: eviction party
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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