the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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