Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
