Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this beer tastes like vomit already
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
