drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
soo... how was my night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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