I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
lol hangovers are for mortals.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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