So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
