we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize