my phone needs a breathalizer
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
