He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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