woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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