I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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