NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
