he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
