i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im six kinds of drunk right now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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