oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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