Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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