Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
