she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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