billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
