Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
