Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize