Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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