I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this is an emotional support booty call
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast