At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
